Truthfully, I drafted the bones of this post months ago, but it seems especially fitting to finally post it on the evening I casually tossed $6,000 into My Roth IRA to max out My contribution for 2022… and didn’t even feel the sting. <3
I’ve been feeling a bit reflective every time I do My weekly numbers, after having handily smashed every streaming record each month in a row since returning from My long hiatus in December, culminating in a completely fucking absurd $18.5k in March alone – and I broke $40k year-to-date a week or two ago. I am *extremely* pleased.
But it’s much, much more than just the financial metrics – green screening the entire corner of My studio and acquiring My new Cintiq has opened up an entirely fresh and new creative outlet for Me, and I’ve been having the most fun I’ve ever had on stream!
But I digress. Have I ever told you about the first major practical life expense I ever paid for entirely with tributes?
It was a 200 amp electrical panel which replaced the preexisting old shitty rusted 100 amp one with the busted seal that pulled water down onto the panel every time it rained. Yes, it was precisely as horrifying as it sounds, but anyone who’s ever bought their first whole-ass house and a significant chunk of property knows that it takes time to build savings back up again to be able to absorb any other expenses.
$3k+. Daunting, at the time.
I didn’t dip a toe into this dark, sticky underbelly of the internet until a couple years after we’d bought our beloved fixer-upper-with-a-view, and I did so with no particular intentions other than to find an outlet for the things My real life good boys aren’t into.
But then.. before I knew it, I was stunned to find Myself able to absorb this particular repair… comfortably? Comfortably. And all I had done was sit in front of My old Lenovo Helix and interact with people around the world in a way that felt as natural to Me as breathing air. God damn.
I will never forget how deeply secure and fulfilled it made Me feel to be able to transmute kinky internet fuckery into safety and peace of mind. I will never forget how well I slept that first night, and every night after that nightmarish wet rusty electrical panel was replaced. I have never once lost sight of that gratitude.
And now, this is Me speaking directly to My devotees: when you send, it feels good to you because you’re sharing in not just the giggly dopamine bits, but the overarching deep fulfillment and the sense of safety and security, that it contributes to My life. You are investing in My comfort, and My future.
It’s interesting to think about… I walk a fine line between the awareness that I deserve it, while also constantly striving to be a better version of Myself every day, simply to be worthy of all the good in My life.
Enjoy this screenshot! It’s the sexiest image I’ve ever posted – at least, until I get around to maxing out My Roth IRA contribution for 2023, hahaha.
